One Mind Between Them
We spent last Saturday at a funeral for my husband’s uncle. He died just 13 days after being diagnosed with a rare brain disease that brought a life deeply invested in family and place to a screeching halt. Eight months ago, he and his wife had celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary drifting contentedly on Otsego Lake in a pontoon boat. Now he’s gone.
Later in the week we spent some time with his widow, in whom I find so much to inspire me even in the face of such grief. But I was also struck by the many small ways his absence was felt. So many ways experience can’t be recounted without reference to him. So many sentences he could have finished. I thought of this poem by Wendell Berry, from A Timbered Choir, and I share it today as a tribute to this couple so much in my thoughts these days.
They sit together on the porch, the dark
Almost fallen, the house behind them dark.
Their supper done with, they have washed and dried
The dishes–only two plates now, two glasses,
Two knives, two forks, two spoons–small work for two.
She sits with her hands folded in her lap,
At rest. He smokes his pipe. They do not speak,
And when they speak at last it is to say
What each one knows the other knows. They have
One mind between them, now, that finally
For all its knowing will not exactly know
Which one goes first through the dark doorway, bidding
Goodnight, and which sits on a while alone.
6 Comments
Ruth
How interesting, that their NOT speaking shows how in tune they are. I remember when my husband and I were dating, and we’d see couples in restaurants eating together and not speaking, I used to worry that we’d be like that some day. We don’t chatter away all the time like we used to, but mostly, I think, that’s because there are now kids chattering away…
So sorry for the loss. There seem to be lots of losses these days.
Barbara H.
I am sorry about your husband’s uncle’s death.
That is a sweet poem. There is such depth in knowing one another so well.
Robyn Hood Black
One of those posts that stays with you for a while – so sorry for your husband’s family’s loss, and thank you for sharing this special poem and your thoughts today.
DebD
So sorry for your family’s loss. May his memory be eternal.
My mom died just 11 days ago… such a lovely poem.
Janet
I’m so sorry, Deb. Prayers for you in your loss.
Amy @ Hope Is the Word
Beautiful poem. It’s particularly poignant to me because our community just felt the unexpected loss this week of a 36 year old wife and mother of 5. My heart goes out to her husband. She died in their 15th anniversary.