Nonfiction

The Mother-Daughter Book Club

Shireen Dodson’s The Mother-Daughter Book Club is a wealth of inspiration and practical information about starting a multi-generational reading group. As the lengthy subtitle suggests, it tells “How Ten Busy Mothers and Daughters Came Together to Talk, Laugh, and Learn Through Their Love of Reading.” It’s an idea I was thinking about, and a friend loaned me this book.

The group of girls in this account are from 9-12 years of age, and their mothers were looking for a way to grow their relationships in a more positive direction than the household scripts seemed to establish. Instead of mundane or tense exchanges about messy rooms or outfits, they wanted to create some opportunities for more meaningful interaction with their daughters — before the teen years. Their book club turned out to be a smashing success. It deepened relationships and provided a chance to discuss life issues in a supportive, non-threatening atmosphere, and the books served as a meeting ground in all kinds of ways.

My only complaint is the physical layout of the book, in which the narrative is interrupted at every turn by author booklists, introductions, and special-interest discussions of various kinds. It kept breaking my train of thought as a reader. I wish all the inserts were saved for either the beginnings or endings of chapters, or the appendix. (The appendix, incidentally, does provide still more booklists and suggestions.)

I have yet to come to a decision whether I’m quite ready to try initiating something like this. The mothers in this book are all busy professionals who were looking for, among other things, simple time with their daughters. As a home educator, I already spend lots of time with my children. I still feel a desire for more quality, though. Often, when we finish all that we need to do together, we scatter to our own interests and hobbies. We spend the necessary time together, but not the just-enjoying-each-other time. Part of the attraction of home schooling was the idea of such time together, but it can be hard to find, strange though that sounds.

At this time of year, I’m tired, and that colors the consideration of any new activity. A book club appeals to me, of course. I’m a reader. But I don’t want to “over-parent,” as the term in vogue puts it. When I contrast my own childhood in a safer world, where I spent loads of time alone around the neighborhood or in the woods, with my childrens’ much more narrowly-circumscribed and closely-monitored lives, I feel sad for what they’re missing. Do I want to insert myself into yet another region through a club like this?

On the pro-club side of the scale are my love for books, the benefit of underscoring the “coolness” of reading by making it a social activity, and my daughter’s immediate enthusiasm when I floated the idea. Finally, I share the desire of the mothers in this book not to let these years slip away without establishing strong relationships with our daughters. A mother-daughter book club is at its heart a pleasure-based activity — not school (though education happens), and not a way of promoting an agenda (though it does offer opportunities to discuss deeply-held beliefs).

Usually I try to keep my reviews more about the book, and less about me. Sorry about this one! This subject’s close to home, obviously. I’ll conclude by re-emerging from my wallow in indecisive angst to recommend this book heartily as an inspiring read packed with useful material. Ms. Dodson followed it up with 100 Books for Girls to Grow On (also loaned me by my friend). The books it lists strike me as aimed at the upper end of the 9-12 year old range, but it’s still a very helpful resource.

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