I posted a link to this essay by C.S. Lewis a few years ago. Since the link is now dead, and since this essay included in God in the Dock is available on Google Books and therefore, as I understand it, permissible to quote in its entirety here, I’m going to reprint it.
Apparently it was first published in Twentieth Century in 1957. Have you read it?
“WHAT CHRISTMAS MEANS TO ME” by C.S. Lewis
Three things go by the name of Christmas. One is a religious festival. This is important and obligatory for Christians; but as it can be of no interest to anyone else, I shall naturally say no more about it here. The second (it has complex historical connections with the first, but we needn’t go into them) is a popular holiday, an occasion for merry-making and hospitality. If it were my business to have a ‘view’ on this, I should say that I much approve of merry-making. But what I approve of much more is everybody minding his own business. I see no reason why I should volunteer views as to how other people should spend their own money in their own leisure among their own friends. It is highly probable that they want my advice on such matters as little as I want theirs. But the third thing called Christmas is unfortunately everyone’s business.
I mean of course the commercial racket. The interchange of presents was a very small ingredient in the older English festivity. Mr. Pickwick took a cod with him to Dingley Dell; the reformed Scrooge ordered a turkey for his clerk; lovers sent love gifts; toys and fruit were given to children. But the idea that not only all friends but even all acquaintances should give one another presents, or at least send one another cards, is quite modern and has been forced upon us by the shopkeepers. Neither of these circumstances is in itself a reason for condemning it. I condemn it on the following grounds.
1. It gives on the whole much more pain than pleasure. You have only to stay over Christmas with a family who seriously try to ‘keep’ it (in its third, or commercial, aspect) in order to see that the thing is a nightmare. Long before December 25th everyone is worn out — physically worn out by weeks of daily struggle in overcrowded shops, mentally worn out by the effort to remember all the right recipients and to think out suitable gifts for them. They are in no trim for merry-making; much less (if they should want to) to take part in a religious act. They look far more as if there had been a long illness in the house.
2. Most of it is involuntary. The modern rule is that anyone can force you to give him a present by sending you a quite unprovoked present of his own. It is almost a blackmail. Who has not heard the wail of despair, and indeed of resentment, when, at the last moment, just as everyone hoped that the nuisance was over for one more year, the unwanted gift from Mrs. Busy (whom we hardly remember) flops unwelcomed through the letter-box, and back to the dreadful shops one of us has to go?
3. Things are given as presents which no mortal ever bought for himself — gaudy and useless gadgets, ‘novelties’ because no one was ever fool enough to make their like before. Have we really no better use for materials and for human skill and time than to spend them on all this rubbish?
4. The nuisance. For after all, during the racket we still have all our ordinary and necessary shopping to do, and the racket trebles the labour of it.
We are told that the whole dreary business must go on because it is good for trade. It is in fact merely one annual symptom of that lunatic condition of our country, and indeed of the world, in which everyone lives by persuading everyone else to buy things. I don’t know the way out. But can it really be my duty to buy and receive masses of junk every winter just to help the shopkeepers? If the worst comes to the worst I’d sooner give them money for nothing and write if off as a charity. For nothing? Why, better for nothing than for a nuisance.
If you’ve gotten this far, I have a question for you. How do you keep Christmas free of the “dreary business” described here?
I think Lewis hits a number of things on the head, anticipating the general direction the celebration of this holiday has gone. Some of these points resonate with me. But at the same time, it hasn’t lost its wonder for me. Maybe we can be aware of the “racket” and still tune it out…
I must confess I haven’t figured out how to live beyond the whole dreary business….but I am beginning to think we(our family) need to take a more intentional, proactive approach, instead of being swept into obligations that physically and financially drain us. To think through what brings us joy, what has meaning to us for this celebration. And stick to that unapologetically.
The wonder of Christmas- it has amazed me over the years to notice the wonder, general peace and goodwill of the Christmas season to be more prevalent among unbelievers than believers. I am pondering this myself this year.
I think one of the fortunate things about a large extended family, on my husband’s side, is that it is nearly impossible to buy everyone gifts. Several in-laws opted-out of the “whole deary business” long ago, for which those of us without as much back-bone are eternally grateful. The last two of us, who continued to exchange gifts, finally decided together that enough was enough 2 years ago. Whew! It’s easy enough to buy small children gifts, but quite hard as they grow up and get married. I make a point not to give gifts to friends, with the exception of my godmother. My friends do not give me gifts either.
On my side, we used to only exchange gifts for the children, but now that they are all nearly adults we’ve agreed to stop.
The other fortunate thing is that we live at a time when the tide is changing, at least amongst Christians. It is not so difficult to explain to a friend “We’re trying to focus on Christ during Christmas and not so much on shopping and gift buying.” And, usually they would understand.
I agree that the tide is changing. (The recession helps.)
My brother and sister and I agreed several years ago that we wouldn’t buy gifts for each other. We do draw names for the children: I have two children, so I draw names of two nieces or nephews, and we get gifts for them.
Some relatives understand scaling back, and others don’t. Polly’s word “unapologetic” is on my mind these days, too.
I do enjoy giving things, even if they’re homemade or small.
One year I rang bells at Walmart. I was struck by the goodwill of the season too, there where it should have been so stressful. I was also struck by how many parents wanted to give their children the experience of dropping change in the kettle. It was neat.
Oops, I didn’t finish my thought about enjoying giving things…
I do enjoy that. But a couple of times this year I’ve wondered what it would be like if we all agreed to give each other just our time/presence one year — kind of a material gifts fast. I just wonder what it would be like, and what would grow up into the space.
I agree with you, I think he has nailed several things on the head, but I wouldn’t want to do away with it all, either. Each person/family has to find their own balance.
I do like each of the individual components — shopping, giving, baking, attending events. But it does increase the pressure when it all comes at once on top of the other everyday duties of life. We’ve scaled back in various ways different years. I really like giving something to a wide variety of people, but it does add to the financial aspect as well as the pressure. We pretty much only give to our immediate family — kids and grandparents — and one or two special friends any more. Most of the nieces and nephews are grown and married with kids of their own, quadrupling the extended family. So we don’t usually give to siblings, nieces, etc. anymore, but one thing that made a really nice gift was when my family brought up a whole box full of pictures for us to sort through. As oldest I got all the “family history” ones, and my son scanned and touched them up, and we put them all on a CD for everyone. It took him a lot of time to retouch them all (though he had the time that year), but once it was all done it wasn’t time-consuming or expensive to reproduce them.
My family quit giving gifts several years ago. Instead, we all pitch in funds to give to a charitable cause. Of course, the children still get presents, and we fill each others’ stockings with small things, but it’s cut down a lot on the holiday feeling like shopping chores.
That’s really great — a great cause, and great that your whole family came to agreement on it.
I loved reading this and even got a chuckle from the brutal honesty. I appreciate that about Lewis. Our extended families are rather small and so the shopping I do is minimal. We have four children (13-20 yrs) and I primarily focus on them…and they get things that most people would get anytime during the year….shoes, coats, clothing with a few fun things thrown in, but all very frugal. That may change as they grow into adulthood.
I do enjoy giving small handmade gifts as a thank you/appreciation gift. I direct a co-op and like to give to those on our steering team and I like making little things for the ladies in my book club like book marks. I have a few people I will take baked goods to…but again it is something I enjoy and do not expect anything in return. I am starting to grow weary of gift exchange parties. I agonized over one party like this where the gifts needed to be good ones. I had to go…but it robs a lot of the joy of anticipation of being with friends.
One thing I have decided this year is that I will no longer participate in charities that require gift giving to strangers. I would rather give the money or food or toiletries…that sort of thing.
Thanks for posting this. I have printed it out and will reread it tonight. I like thinking about these things.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you too, Wayside Wanderer! Thanks for the good thoughts.
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