“Empathy is the highest form of love.”
Is this true?
For some reason, I balk at this sentence from the excellent book Boundaries with Kids
Cloud and Townsend continue, “The ability to sense the plight of our condition is what moved God to create, sustain, and redeem us.” First, how could God “sense the plight of our condition” before we were created? Second, doesn’t this make God merely reactive? — I tend not to think that God conceived of redemption because he “sensed” something going wrong, but because he knew before the foundations of the world that it would need redeeming — and created it anyway.
If empathy is the highest form of love, doesn’t it make me the standard and final rule of existence? Doesn’t it make what I’m capable of feeling the limit of my ability to love?
Isn’t love supposed to transcend self?
I haven’t read this book, but I’ve actually been on the lookout for it lately. I think I need some boundaries (or is the book about kids needing boundaries? I’m not sure).
Anyway, I’m with your pondering about empathy. I hope my ability to love strains toward something greater than just empathy.
Excellent questions, Janet. And I agree with your conclusions.
Based on the Scriptures, isn’t the highest form of love utter selflessness, especially in the face of hostility/ignorance/apathy/rejection (1 Jn. 3:16; Rom. 5:8)?
Amy, this book is about kids learning to live within/set healthy boundaries. Their book for adults is ‘Boundaries,’ but it’s impossible to read this one without making some applications.
Those are great verses, Lisa. I think John 15:13 applies, too.
I just ordered this book from Paperback Swap, Janet. It was your EXCELLENT in italics that convinced me.
I (gulp) hope you like it…
Seriously, speaking for myself, it’s the most helpful parenting book I’ve read. I reviewed it last year on my old blog:
http://writer2b.wordpress.com/2007/11/26/boundaries-with-kids/
I’ll be very interested to know what you think of it.
Thanks for linking your review, Janet. This one sounds like one I need RIGHT NOW!
I hadn’t heard a statement like that about empathy before, but my thoughts echo yours. To say that God “sensed” our need for redemption seems to make God reactive and not omniscient — he knew our need, He didn’t need to perceive it over time.
I thi9nk self-sacrifice is the highest form of love (actually that’s just off the top of my head — I haven’t really thought about it until just now), but I do think empathy is a factor. I’m thinking along the lines of the whole idea of love languages — loving not as I perceive love but as the loved one does and adjusting my expressions accordingly. I can see empathy figuring in that way.